Waiting for Rain in a drought....

Ever since I was little I have always dreamed, and I mean DREAMED! Every little girl dreams of getting married to Prince Charming, fairy tale life, etc.... Well through this life I have come to realize that life sure isn't a fairy tale, but on the contrary it is a wild exciting road with bumps and potholes galore. I have been prayerful at times, while other times I could care less what God thought and made stupid decisions and didn't care how they affected my life. BIG MISTAKE, but thankfully I serve a forgiving and merciful God, who doesn't throw it in my face but merely throws it away. I would like to think that in the past year I have grown tremendously spiritually and mentally. Mostly through mistakes I have made and how they not only have affected me, but those around me who I love and care for the most. In recent months I have decided to stop worrying about people, and even more specifically relationships, they only get me into trouble it seems. It is in the past couple of months that I have truly learned to cling to the Lord as my father, protector, provider, friend in loneliness, so on and so forth. He has become everything. Now I always thought that people who stopped looking for these things and got them were just making it up, but no sir, they were SERIOUS! Who knew. When I learned to be lost in Jesus, it seems that he may have sent someone to find me, I wasn't looking, not even thinking about looking but I feel and have faith as though God might be saying its your turn now, you are ready. This to me is terrifying! I have no idea what to do or how to feel.... I just keep praying that his will be done in my life and the lives of those who I care about. I pray that He is the one, but at the same time, I pray it takes some time. I still have a lot of growing up to do, I dream of embodying Proverbs 31, but I am sooooo far from it. I want to be the best sister, daughter, girlfriend, fiance, and wife that I can be. I want to love and be loved for who I am regardless of the mistakes that I have made in the past, I want to be the best woman I can be to the man God gives me to. I feel like my praying is finally paying off but at the same time, if things work out, this will probably be the most difficult relationship that I ever will experience, but at the same time I hope it is the last. I am ready and willing, but is God ready and willing to use me now? I don't know, all I can do is continue to pray. Something feels different, feels right, but is it me thinking that it feels this way because I have desired it for so long, or is it God saying, "okay, its your turn, go for it!" Ha waiting for who God has for me is kind of like waiting for rain in a drought. You keep looking up to the heavens saying, "any day now would be great"