Bird Brained??

So, as I was reading through Matthew tonight I kept running across scripture that had to do with anxiousness, but also how much He, as in our Heavenly Father, looks out for us and has His mind on us always! How many times do I over think something? Read into something? Get the completely wrong idea of something or someone? Don't trust His plan? Refuse to be patient and do things my way instead? How many times do I act out of anxiousness and worry rather than just stopping and praying?? Maybe, no I NEED to just stop and be bird brained for a minute. Stop thinking so much and just trust. Think about it, just this once, birds fly and eat, the Lord provides for their every need and desire, they are obedient and merely live and the GLORIFY the Lord most high... I mean seriously if I would just stop mindlessly thinking for once, maybe I would allow myself to be taken care of by my heavenly father... I admit it, I am a natural worrier, over analyzer, over thinker, you name it, that's my problem. I am so worried about controlling my own life that I feel I am becoming like Jonah, eventually God is gonna have something spit me out in Ninevah an it may have been more rewarding if I had just listened and trusted in the first place. So as I was reading through Matthew I came across many verses that definitely were a big encouragement:

1.) Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its troubles.
-Wow! what an eye opener, even though I have repeatedly heard this verse in my life, I was really shown something deeper this time. I just need to live in the day the Lord has given me, no this doesn't mean I need to be lazy and just do whatever, I still need to do what He desires of me, but I do need to live in the present. Just work with what I have at this very moment. I need to stop worrying about when I will be in a relationship. Quit worrying about how I will be able to do school and work. The Lord will not give me more than I can handle. He alone will guide and protect me all the way through.

2.) Matthew 10:19-20 "When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."
-Yet another amazing bit of encouragement. In my faith especially I become fearful of being bold and sharing my faith and ultimately being persecuted for it. What will I say when someone confronts me? What will I say to someone when I don't know the answer? Fears of inadequacy have plagued me and stopped me from seizing opportunities I knew the Lord had given me. This verse gives comfort to me, to learn and practice boldness in sharing my faith. I don't need to be anxious for He will give me the exact words I need to say in the exact year, month, day, hour, and second that I need to say them. God is so good!

3.) Matthew 10:30-31 "But even the hairs on your head are ALL numbered. Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows."
-This goes back to the whole being bird brained idea, all birds do is live, and them living glorifies God. And we are MORE valuable than something who solely lives to glorify God. So agree with me to try to be more bird brained!


How amazing is our God, he formed us in our mothers womb, he knows everything about us, the hairs on our head, the thoughts and deepest desires of our hearts!!! So amazing to be loved by someone who truly only wants the best for us, otherwise he wouldn't have sent his son to die so that we could live! So, even though I am wired to over think, I am going to rewire and think less, be a bit "bird brained" for the sake of Glorifying my Lord. Its okay to have a small brain once in a while!

The Uncertain Crash of Reality

Sometimes life just feels as though it is all going where it needs to, things just seem....Well, too good to be true. And often times when it feels that way, the crash is too close to contain. I have been deeply prayerful, thoughtful, and certainly attached to the idea of finding that something that's been missing in my life, or I thought that that something or someone had found me. As it is still too soon to tell, hopes are seeming to diminish, no feelings are definitely the same, but the situations complications are becoming more present and prevalent. Why can life not just be a fairy tale? Well the simple answer to that is, if it were no one would learn to truly rely on the Lord through the storms and trials in their life. I am clinging to the JOY that the Lord will bring me when the storm has subsided:

James1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him""

WOW:) That is just such an encouragement to me at this very moment in my life. Where the reality that is facing me is most definitely uncertain. There may be a crash, but there also may be a happy ending. It is up to the Lord and how he wants to use me in this area and time of my life. I want to grow closer to him, closer to the one who saved me and has freed me from the burdens that face me! I want to face the trails and also know that, even when I think that I can't handle what is going on, and when I feel like I am about to just crumble beneath the frustration, pain, hurt, etc; he is there to carry me through.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I have to be patient and bear with those around me no matter how difficult it may be, this life was not made to be easy, but made to grow us together in strength and love. To hold each other up and help one another along in difficult times.

Ephesians 4:2 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love"

I am learning to just keep my eye on the prize, Jesus, and keep my focus on him. He is testing me and I hope that I am doing all that I am supposed to, it is not easy, but he doesn't want it to be. He wants me to cling first to him above all else, BEFORE he provides something or someone else that I cling to for protection and love. So as I wait for the uncertain crash of reality to set in, I keep my eyes on the Lord and know he will lead me through with Joy in my heart and love abounding. But first I must ABIDE!

Waiting for Rain in a drought....

Ever since I was little I have always dreamed, and I mean DREAMED! Every little girl dreams of getting married to Prince Charming, fairy tale life, etc.... Well through this life I have come to realize that life sure isn't a fairy tale, but on the contrary it is a wild exciting road with bumps and potholes galore. I have been prayerful at times, while other times I could care less what God thought and made stupid decisions and didn't care how they affected my life. BIG MISTAKE, but thankfully I serve a forgiving and merciful God, who doesn't throw it in my face but merely throws it away. I would like to think that in the past year I have grown tremendously spiritually and mentally. Mostly through mistakes I have made and how they not only have affected me, but those around me who I love and care for the most. In recent months I have decided to stop worrying about people, and even more specifically relationships, they only get me into trouble it seems. It is in the past couple of months that I have truly learned to cling to the Lord as my father, protector, provider, friend in loneliness, so on and so forth. He has become everything. Now I always thought that people who stopped looking for these things and got them were just making it up, but no sir, they were SERIOUS! Who knew. When I learned to be lost in Jesus, it seems that he may have sent someone to find me, I wasn't looking, not even thinking about looking but I feel and have faith as though God might be saying its your turn now, you are ready. This to me is terrifying! I have no idea what to do or how to feel.... I just keep praying that his will be done in my life and the lives of those who I care about. I pray that He is the one, but at the same time, I pray it takes some time. I still have a lot of growing up to do, I dream of embodying Proverbs 31, but I am sooooo far from it. I want to be the best sister, daughter, girlfriend, fiance, and wife that I can be. I want to love and be loved for who I am regardless of the mistakes that I have made in the past, I want to be the best woman I can be to the man God gives me to. I feel like my praying is finally paying off but at the same time, if things work out, this will probably be the most difficult relationship that I ever will experience, but at the same time I hope it is the last. I am ready and willing, but is God ready and willing to use me now? I don't know, all I can do is continue to pray. Something feels different, feels right, but is it me thinking that it feels this way because I have desired it for so long, or is it God saying, "okay, its your turn, go for it!" Ha waiting for who God has for me is kind of like waiting for rain in a drought. You keep looking up to the heavens saying, "any day now would be great"